Badly Bilingual Gift Guide

Today, I’m writing one of the soon-to-be-abundant gift guides for 2022’s holiday season. I’m not going to try to advise on what to get a live-in partner or a relative you talk to every day or your best friend since childhood because I believe that those relationships warrant case-by-case consideration and the appropriate gifts for these people might completely disobey all the general “rules” I’ll lay out below.

My philosophy is to ask the loved one in question for a few options of gifts they’d definitely love, get/make/steal (“jk”) whichever of the selection you can afford, and then pick out a few smaller, inexpensive surprises (maybe from the list below?). This works because the guarantee of one home run gift means that even if the surprises are not exactly what they would’ve wanted, it doesn’t really matter, and the element of surprise adds excitement that is lost when you communicate healthily about gift-giving as recommended above.

All this said, the below guide is targeted towards those smaller bonus gifts and gifts you’d give people you’re not cohabitating and/or don’t share DNA or decades of history with, who might not be as delighted as your partner to receive a Swiffer Wet Jet or whatever.

Note: The below gift ideas are divided up into sections, the first for Argentines with all AR-based brands and the other for most of the rest of the world. I made the mistake of trying to import something to BSAS and I have learned my lesson and wanted to provide options for anyone who might be reading this from a computer in Argentina. **Note: This is my first attempt at a kind of bilingual post so I’m sorry in advance for my fucked-up Spanish and please go easy on me 🙂

In my opinion, a baseline, foolproof gift has five facets:

  1. Pragmatism/usability (the years I’ve lived an adult have really started to settle in, huh)
  2. Fun/joyousness/a sense of humor
  3. Is not something the recipient would likely purchase for themself
  4. Not too intimate or demanding of the recipient’s energy (i.e. clothing that needs to fit really well to look good, shoes they might have to exchange for a different size, a project they need to complete)
  5. Affordable enough that it doesn’t put a huge amount of pressure on the recipient to make it a generational heirloom if they don’t want to. All items in this post cost less than $100 USD or $25,000 ARS before shipping etc.

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Thank you SO MUCH for your support, whatever you are able and willing to do to help is extremely valuable to me and I’m honored to be a small part of your life on the web.

Para Argentines

Me encanta los colores – esta algo muy espeluznante pero genial especialmente con el verde y negro a la derecha. Y los pequeños lazos! Las bolsas son como delicadas esculturas.

Collar AnĂ©mona – $4.900 ARS

Los flecos están muy de moda en este momento y este collar es lo suficientemente informal como para usarlo con una camiseta, pero se puede vestir fácilmente. Tambien algo desconcertante en este cosa pero me gusta!

Vela de Soja – $1.450 ARS

Tengo este vela con el perfume “Fresas y moras,” es muy bonito y soy muy sensible a los olores, eso significa mucho.

Collar Mafalda – $4.900 ARS

Amo a Mafalda y este collar resume su loca energĂ­a sin dejar de ser apropiado para que lo use un adulto.


Las medias son uno de mis regalos favoritos y me recuerdan a las relajantes pantallas de inicio del Animal Crossing.

Bombilla Carpincho – $7.450 ARS


MĂŤRALO

Porta Fuego – $9.500 ARS

Sensato y elegante, se puede usar como un collar o una cadena de cinturĂłn, siempre estĂ© listo para darle a una persona sexy un fuego…

Alfomba Tigre – $25.000 ARS

Más caro que el resto debido al asombroso arte y la artesanía en esta alfombra de hermosos colores.

Pulsera Hueso – $3.300 ARS

Muy elegante y genero neutral!

Bucket Hat Sole Mare – $6.600 ARS

El sombrero mejor para el verano, yo pienso.

For Most of the Rest of the World

Geometric Wool Mittens – $87 (Sale)

Not often you find a Bode piece for sub-100, and these are so cute and unique that they’d be a great wintertime pick for you or your giftee.

Numb Earrings – €60.00 (Sale)

For your emo little sibling who still has preternaturally good taste.

Grandpa Varsity Socks – $18

Perfect colors, look sturdy, fancy socks as gifts are unbeatable.

LOOK AT THEM! IMAGINE THEM ON YOUR BLAZER LAPEL OR THE HEM OF SOME LONG SHORTS!

Mushroom Knife Rest Set – $92

Yes, those are all knife rests. I don’t know how practical they are for balancing sharp objects, but they’d look cool scattered around a table or piled on a shallow tray as a centerpiece, too.

Turkish Coffee Pot + Cups Gift Set – $66.93+

I LOVE Turkish coffee and have frown up making it. This set is legit and I like that the cups can all be mismatched so when you inevitably break one it’s easily replaceable with another ad hoc addition. Make sure to gift some ground coffee WITH CARDAMOM alongside the set.

Candle Baguette – $38

It looks cool, I think!

Cupid’s Arrow Arrangement – $74

Bouquets are underrated as gifts, I love receiving them, especially when they have non-living components so they can function as permanent decor. The handmade arrows in this arrangement are just magical.

Movie Tape – $10

So cute and shockingly useful (this kind of tape doesn’t usually rip papers or ruin photos, so it’s great for scrapbooking, putting stuff on walls, and accessorizing stationery)!

Larrea – $45

I smelled this once and was hooked. Who’s getting me the creosote perfume this year???

Yay! You made it to the end and I adore you! Let me know at hr@humanrepeller.com or on Instagram if you end up being inspired by any gifts on this list, o si quieres “drag” me para mi mal español…

❤ HR

Published by ESK

communist fashion-loving sicko

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