HR’s Got You: Jewish Summer Camp, Swamp Witches, and Partners’ Partners

Note: Your illustrious host got in a huge fight with their boss after their boss did something inexcusably wrong and then was incredibly disrespectful and transphobic about it instead of apologizing genuinely, so they (I) are (am) out of a job sooner than expected. I’m looking for a remote job in management, personal assistance, fashion writing, or basically anything a person with a pulse can do over the computer. I have a BFA, experience in Javascript, copywriting/editing, management, and being a chump online. Thanks for your help, I really need it right now.

I put out a call to the HR Instagram followers for specific moods/concepts/situations for which I could devise some looks. Today, I will be addressing three (one of which will be anonymized due to the potential for self-implication in the subject matter) plus one bonus question that is a bit more technical than conceptual. Thank you SO MUCH for your scenarios/questions, and if you sent one that isn’t responded to in this post rest assured I will be addressing it very soon!

Swamp Witch Out on the Town” – @yolawatz

This look was so fun to conceive of! The bags are just too perfect, they seem designed in response to this exact prompt. Other than that, I went pragmatic (swamps are sweaty and stinky with lots of potential creepy monster encounters, so breathable, loose linens in camouflage-friendly earth tones seemed to be the way to go) but elevated (out on the TOWN, baby), with as much mossiness and iridescence as I could muster.

Ear Cuff Earrings
Flying Bow
Plaid Hood
Vivienne Blouse
Seersucker Blouse
Tank Jumper
Flax Linen Pants
1990s Pants
Linen Wide Leg Pants
Neal
Chelsea Boots

Running the Garden at a Jewish Summer Camp when Temps are Regularly in the 90s” – @asydtest

I wasn’t sure what denomination of Judaism this camp would fall under, so I played it safe, with most of these clothes falling under acceptable modesty qualifications to observe tzniut, stricter modesty laws many more Orthodox Jews follow that require covering skin from the knees to the collarbone. Some denominations require women to wear skirts instead of pants, a law that I think is pretty self-evidently regressive but if you fuck with it you still should look cool!

The image of a relaxed, flowy tee with a white, breathable midi/maxi skirt streaked with dirt and grass truly inspired me. Get one from a thrift store for $3 so you don’t have to stress about getting it dirty. The airflow and reflectivity of the white skirt will keep you cool and unburned better than shorts could! If you would prefer pants, a breathable gingham or loose cargo (with an interesting detail like weird pockets or darts at the knee) would be best. Top it off with a nylon cap with neck protection, a bandana or beads for *that hot camp counselor look* and the most comfortable, supportive shoes in the world (coming from a person with gnarled, fucked-up feet, I vouch for Hokas on my life). You will soon attract swaths of nerdy aspiring botanist Jews who will come out for the first time to you over a tomato plant or something because you look so cool they can tell you’re a safe person to be a little queer around. Mazel tov!

Gardening Hat
Neck Flap Hat
SPOC
Lapis Lazuli Necklace
Organic T-shirt
Antique Cotton Skirt
Margo Skirt
Antique Lace Skirt
70s Gingham Levis
90s Gingham Pants
Vintage Gingham Capris
Parachute Trousers
Vintage Military Trousers
Gardening Socks
Anacapa Mid
Arahi 6

The Coworker I’ve Been Fucking is Having Their Birthday Party on Their Long-Term Partner’s Roof (I Haven’t Met Them Yet And Want To Look Hot and Cool but Not Like I’m Trying Too Hard), Need a Day-to-Night Look

This is my favorite situation I’ve ever been given to style. I love the specificity and the self-knowledge (this person was careful to mention that they wanted to look like they weren’t trying too hard, even though they “clearly are”). My partner and I immediately thought of a black short-sleeved jumpsuit, such as the Big Bud Press one below, which I upheld as the bastion of insouciant chic in my post about first date style though the white or any solid color that makes you happy would also be great choices (though if you are stain-averse, go with the black). No matter your size, shape, gender, or general style sense, a well-fitting jumpsuit makes you look down for anything (;)), put-together, and treads the line between casual and elevated with aplomb.

If you don’t want to go the jumpsuit route, I suggest combining 1) a shirt that has either a relaxed T fit with interesting details (a frilled neck, garter straps, etc) or a more formal looking blouse with a relaxed element (like the carelessly crumpled texture of the black piece below) with 2) a relaxed-fit pair of jeans with textural or color intrigue. Finish off with a nylon cap to keep your face shaded on that roof and emphasize the EXTREMELY RELAXED AND CASUAL vibes you are CERTAINLY emitting, countered with some very polished-looking shoes to show you’re not trying too hard to overcompensate in order to achieve this MIRACULOUSLY RELAXED AND CASUAL aura! Please let me know how this goes and if it ends in a new friendship between you and the partner, which is my dear wish for y’all.

Runners Cap
90s Cycling Cap
Vintage Nike Cap
T-Shirt With Bib
Marble Print T-Shirt
Garter Tee
Puff Sleeve Blouse
Raw Denim
Shredded Baggy Jeans
Indigo Pile Jeans
Benz Jeans
Short Sleeve Jumpsuit
Gillie Shoes
Eyra Sandals
Uma Loafers

Bonus: “Most goated T-shirt blank” – @00junm

I have little experience with printing on clothes personally, so I don’t have an amazing technical grasp on what a truly goated blank entails, but just going off of shape/aesthetic properties of a plain T (I favor boxy structural integrity, a high but not too tight crewneck, longish but not past the elbow sleeves, and an elegant drape), here are some thoughts.

Note: If you are on the petite side, my #1 rec is to go with Youth Large/XL blanks. Their proportions are better, with a slightly cropped torso adding to the perfect boxy-but-not-too-boxy drape, and their sleeves hit juuuust right. They are also almost always way cheaper than adult sizing, which, especially in a wholesale situation, is hugely helpful!

Industry of All Nations has some amazing basic Ts, including the ringers cited in the Jewish Camp look above. For printing, the “New T-Shirt” and “Kung Fu Sweatshirt” look thick and structured enough to stand up to any kind of treatment and the undyed colorway is the perfect neutral in my opinion. The sweatshirt is an especially sick potential blank, I haven’t seen many short-sleeved sweatshirts used as merch and I think they have a lot of potential as layering devices in the winter (they can stand up to a textured long-sleeve under layer) or worn on their own during warmer months (would be a great beach or pool cover-up for when the breeze is a bit too chilly on wet skin but a jacket would be OD).

Kung Fu Sweatshirt
New T-Shirt

For a more financially feasible option, the resurrection of the classic by Los Angeles Apparel (formerly American Apparel) is available in wholesale and still has that structure, drape, and quality that elevate a blank from a cheapo souvenir that ends up smushed under a dresser to an item in one’s daily fit rotation.

Garment Dye Crew Neck
Garment Dye Crew Neck

Thanks again for your inquiries, keep em coming to the @humanrepeller Instagram, if I helped you out directly or indirectly please subscribe below and share this with your grandmothers and gardening counselors. Especially if they have remote job openings for one intrepid style investigator 🙂

❤ HR

Published by ESK

communist fashion-loving sicko

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