Yo! HR reporting from the end of a thread I am barely hanging onto! Everything is hell as always, so I’m gonna write about what to wear this spring! Very important, hard-hitting reportage being undertaken over here!
Also it’s my birthday today, March 9. It is currently snowing big, fat, wet flakes. Trying not to take the precipitation as an omen of tears to be shed in the coming year. For my birthday, all my Pisces self wants is for you to tell someone you love them today (and mean it). Also, subscribing, liking, and DMing me @humanrepeller on Instagram is always a gift.
The perfect baby blue! The full-frontal zipper! The nylon! But most importantly, a collar like two daggers, ready to incise themselves into the brains of everyone who peeps your look.
Sweatshirt alternative that will keep you looking sharp while being super cozy. This red is the absolute perfect cherry. Audrey Horne would tie you in a knot with her tongue if you wore this. Promise.
Before A&F was for cliquey tweens and horny 30 year olds, it was totally Jane Goodall-core.
A gentle, alluring blue with the perfect amount of buttons leading your eyes up to the glory of the collar.
Wear this and be transformed into Eric Foreman’s booty call, wearing his shirt after the two of you had whatever kind of nerdy sex that guy had up his terry cloth sleeve.
Simple, stoic, sublime.
Wear this if you want people to (rightfully) believe you’re the most adorable person on the goddamned planet.
Spring demands rompers. The straight-ish neckline and boxy fit of this one gives sleekness to the chaos of the gem-toned paisley.
This makes paisley downright saucy and grand. Good collar too.
A great alternative to khakis for work, especially for shorter people!
The dulled but rich colors and the almost mutton-choppy sleeves make this shirt special.
Coziest looking item ever.
Love the two giant paisleys (?) looking like twin fish wreaking havoc on an otherwise dour argyle sweater. Pisces mood!
This dress absolutely wails “Cape Cod in June” and begs for a soft-serve as its only accessory. Between all the wailing and begging, this dress sure is a piece of work.
Kudos to streetnightlive, one of my favorite fashion newsletters, for finding these subtle but statement-making paisley pants. Would look even better with wear and tear.
This shape of bonnet puts the trendier, less voluminous ones to shame! Bring drama and sun protection to your S/S season.
So beyond elegant and cool. Wear for gardening, beach days, dates in the park, plein air painting…
Fashion kippah! My yenta-core conspiracies are coming to fruition!
Huge and bountiful bag that wants to be filled with towels and snacks and flowers and illicit substances.
You can seriously use this bag as a pillow! God bless! The icy slate colorway is perfect, to me, and the shape is fascinating and will make your whole outfit look based (even if you plan to snooze on the bag later).
More of that glorious slate color, this time crocheted into a sling that looks like it belongs on a mycological walk or in a dusty desert cantina.
Tights with shit on them! A bulky, impractical re-envisioning of a decidedly practical accessory. And it looks sick as hell.
These look so good, especially in multiples, which I wish I could afford. I burn, I pine, I perish, etc.
Serve Kurt Cobain Teaching Kindergarten in this cozy guy.
I don’t know why, just love this. I wanna be on the Pistils.
Glory to these sleeves and the perfect blue, like a chambray balloon.
These look like the platonic ideal of a spring shoe. I just tipsily ordered them as a birthday treat to myself and will report back if they rock or suck (I am very finicky about shoes, having a bad ankle, knees, and hips, so my feedback will be decisive and possibly damning).
From what I’ve smelled, I recommend the Pink Iris and Green Cedar scents. Let me know if any of the others are worth huffing.
Let me know what you liked, what you despised, and what you felt absolutely nothing about in this post! @humanrepeller on Instagram or in the comments here.
SPRING WILL COME!