What Is Your 2022 Style M.O.?

Here I present you with a false tetrachotomy (is that word kosher??) of potential values that could guide your style endeavors in the upcoming year. Do you want to embody Audacity, or manifest Romance, bring some much-needed Levity to your physical presence in the world, or swaddle yourself in Comfort-inducing garments? It’s helpful, in congealing personal style, to understand what the values behind your dressing are. Some more include: pragmatism, authority, generosity, abjection… and of course, as i said, this is a false “choice.” Most people will embody some convoluted mishmash of values in their wardrobes, but I figured I’d break down four potential aesthetic paths a little in honor of the New Year and its inherent entreatment to reinvent oneself in some way.

Audacity

Next Chapter Bag

This bag is so obviously cool and intimidating, as its cage-like structure suggests the sentience of anything stored inside, like if not for the cage the bag of Cheez-its or Moleskine notebook would turn feral and lunge at unsuspecting passersby.

Padlock Necklace

I own this necklace and my favorite thing about it is that the padlock is the clasp, so if you lose the three keys they provide with the necklace, you’re seriously trapped with a padlock around your neck. Lots of romantic implication here: keep one key and give the others to your crush/es. Bonus points for doing that on the first date ❤

Dark Gel Futures Shirt

This shirt has major Wong Kar-wai colors and is the only garment I’ve ever seen that’s managed to deploy a red and green combo while DEFTLY avoiding Xmas vibes.

Mummy Blouse

This shirt will make you look ancient in a magical way, like a sentient Dead Sea Scroll.

Sleeveless Armor Jumper

Any garment that uses an armor-referencing shape will make the wearer look brave and cool, but the lacing on this bad boy seals the deal.

Vintage Pinstripe Suit

Nothing more audacious than a well-tailored pinstripe suit but for the love of god please wear this with some Gorpy or dangerous-looking accessories to avoid girlbossification!

Mystery Box

Foo and Foo is offering “mystery boxes,” either for $50 or $100, that allegedly contain $200 and $400 worth of their cleverly constructed garments respectively. Since their gear is typically pretty expensive (t-shirts tend to run upwards of $160 due to their practices of fair labor pay and the elaborate constructions that characterize their customizable, play-inducing clothes but unfortunately render them inaccessible to the average fashion lover) this prospect is exciting enough that I bought a box and am eagerly waiting to see what the luck of the draw gets me. This is definitely a purchase that requires a leap of faith, but if you want to manifest Bravery in this new year, it could be a good jumping-off point and introduce you to garments you might never have thought to try otherwise. Almost everything I’ve seen from this company is intelligently and enticingly designed, so I think it’s a better bet than most mystery boxes that might leave you with unwanted dregs.

Comfort

Vintage Quilt Hood

So cute and cozy and Yenta-core!

Vintage 70s Poncho

HEAR ME OUT: Ponchos are going to have a weird moment soon. There Is something to be said for a garment that keeps you warm while letting you easily scratch your armpit if need be. Here are a few options I found, I think vintage is best for this garment.

Vintage Woven Poncho

Vintage Chunky Knit Poncho

Vintage Rubberized Poncho

Different vibe than the knit ponchos, but super cool and gorp-chic, I think “rubberized” might even mean it’s water resistant? So good.

Vintage Soviet Stockings

Socks are another important and oft-overlooked cozy garment that can add interest and dynamism to an outfit. I found this Etsy that sells vintage (unused lol) Soviet stockings. Be aware, they take forever to ship (from the Ukraine), but I will let you know if they’re as cool as they look once they get to me! Below, some more socks with good shapes/colors/fabrics/designs:

Leigh Crew

Floral Pattern Socks

Cotton Socks

Romance

Locket Earrings

These are so much more unexpected than a locket necklace but just as exciting in that you can stuff a photo or a flower or a bump (would not recommend, might get messy) inside of them!

Janay Choker

I love the interplay of the different chains in this necklace and they all lie so beautifully on the neck. Not bulky but still has presence and heft. Will draw eyes to your neck. This designer has a ton of beautiful jewelry that is usually on sale for some reason, so you can get it for truly amazing prices!

Best Friends Necklace

This is such an adorable but not saccharine take on the bff necklace, the notches add visual interest and connect for really cute photo ops, aww.

Slight Tank

I own this tank, and was worried that the cut-out would be a weird size on me, but no, it’s perfectly sized and placed to show the exact correct amount of rib. The fabric is sturdy but slinky. I truly think this top would be universally flattering.

Nida Tank

Something so erotic about spaghetti straps, compounded by the addition of an unexpected third in this top!

Shoobie Tee

My Instagram friend Stephanie Libanati makes so many sick clothes, the Shoobie Tee being one of my favorites. you can wear it over anything or nothing and it’ll add a subtly sexy texture and shape to your look.

Connell Dress

This is one of my “if I won the lottery” purchases, even though I barely wear dresses anymore: it just oozes sensuality, like a slab of butter melting on a pancake. The hemline cutout is genius.

Floral Bouncy Dress

This is perhaps the most Romantic dress I’ve ever seen but, even with the ditsy print, it doesn’t fall into the “looking like a Target Juniors Section Sale Find” trap because of the dramatic crescents of both shoulders and hemline. Looks so comfy, too.

Levity

Vintage Italian Crossbody Bag

This bag would be at home on the shoulder of Isabella from the Lizzie McGuire Movie. Instant cool without taking itself too seriously.

Schaumburg Rubber Bag

This is basically a sculpture that can incidentally be used to hold things, but I love the selection of charms and the carefully molded handle.

Two Tone Hat with Ears

Hurtence’s hats BLOW ME AWAY every single fucking time I see them. Their internal logic defies me but entices me all the same. This one is reversible and can be tied below the chin or above the crown. The defiantly clashing fabrics, the odd greenish sheen over the purpley glitter… a perverse and delightful hat!

Plaid Balaclava

This looks so comfy (the strategic zipper placement prevents soggy-mouth-in-balaclava-syndrome and its colors somehow totally work though they don’t seem like they would.

Gigi Sweater

The bulges in this sweater make it look like Lumps and Bumps‘ hilariously prim cousin. I love the color and semi-sheer material. I would wear the shit out of this sweater, basically.

Vintage Shirt

This is mostly funny because it’s a Comme Des Garcons shirt, which feels totally unexpected given its chintzy vibe. I like the horizontal paneling and the shape of the collar.

Boner Jeans

These jeans seem so fun, they have metal boning rinning up and down the sides so you can scrunch them into odd shapes and look permanently disheveled.

Chamwoe Pintuck Jeans

These jeans have similarly enticing motion in the way they are pleated and the curved shape of the legs. Super chic clown pants.

Uneek

These shoes are gonna have a MOMENT, coming soon, some summer, I guarantee it. They look so comfortable and the knotted sides are attention-grabbing.

Happy New Year, I guess, and thanks for reading! You can always find me at @humanrepeller on Instagram. Every time someone messages me a compliment, question, or suggestion, it makes my day!

❤ HR

Published by ESK

communist fashion-loving sicko

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